There’s a huge, varied list of reasons why I initially said yes and now continue to do this…here’s a few of them.
Of course I said yes to make my husband happy…to a degree. Although I’m wonderfully submissive in bed, on the day to day I’m not the type to ‘just go along’ with something, nod & smile, or not let my opinion be known. If I didn’t want to sleep with other men I would have declined and it would stay just a fantasy. We’re women, we like sex and some of us really like it. I’m only 30 and just because I locked it up with my sexy ass hubby years ago doesn’t mean I don’t notice other guys, or enjoy attention from them. This fantasy was something he brought up and I was down for because before him I hadn’t been with a variety of guys and I was curious. The fact that it turns him on, makes him happy, and fulfills a fantasy is hot, exciting, and makes me all warm & tingly inside 🙂
I do this because I love my husbands reaction to each and every aspect of this. I love how he looks at me when he watches me do my hair & makeup before I’m going to meet someone. I love how when I get home he’s a ball of energy and love and covers me in kisses and takes care of me. I love how he gets hard anytime I mention details about a night with someone. I love how he encourages me to flirt, sext & drive guys wild. I love how he smiles when he reads what guys say they plan on doing to me from texts & messages. I love that he gives me pointers & tips (when I beg & insist he tells me how guys think). I love that he’s more confident & wants to try new things in bed. I love that he wants to be a better husband (hard considering he’s already the best) and I love that he puts in the effort to handle any issues or insecurities he has.
I do this because having an amazing, gorgeous guy (who could literally fuck any woman he made eye contact with) compliment you is a good feeling, a really good feeling. Some of the messages & compliments I’ve gotten have made me blush, made me giggle and in all honesty made me very wet. I’ve been married for 5 years, together for 11 and even though he’s not stingy with the compliments it’s nice to hear them from other people as well. For me personally, I grew up with a family full of beautiful Italian women, I’m adopted and look nothing like them…so I equated different with less attractive than…hearing that I’m just your type, or you appreciate some random feature about me is a shallow little thrill. Having some flirt with, compliment & ‘court’ you is just plain fun for us ladies, just like it is for you guys. I’ve hit on guys and you’d think I’d handed them a winning lottery ticket…it feels awesome to have someone notice & appreciate you…pretty simple stuff there.
I do this because I like variety: Even though I was/am more than satisfied, in every way, with what I currently have its exciting to experience new things. The people I’ve been with are somewhat similar to my hubby but I still feel like each person has offered something vastly different…every part of kissing, touching, feeling someone new is exciting. Every guy feels, smells, speaks, fucks differently than the last and I enjoy that immensely. I happen to love adapting to new situations/people so being with a variety plays into that for me. It also makes me want my husband that much more. I always have fun with others and enjoy my time spent with them but there’s nothing like coming home to him, he knows with scientific accuracy how to please me, how to get me off, and how to make me feel amazing.
New Energy: Ya know when you’re first meet someone and every time they accidentally brush against you and you get goosebumps…it’s that times 1000. Having a new set of hands explore my body, please me, let me explore theirs…it sets off one hell of an adrenaline rush and it’s intoxicating.
It’s Just Ours: I do this because it feels like a naughty secret that me and my husband share. It’s terribly fun for us to be around friends or family and know that the night before I was at a hotel fucking someone else, when people joke or complain about ‘married sex’ we just kind of laugh and think “poor fools…if they only knew how awesome things could be”…. My friends call me Martha Stewart because I love to baking and ‘housewifey type of things…he’s my nerdy programmer husband and we have 3 beautiful kids behind our white picket fence… ..I think everyone still assumes we’re somewhat kinky but more along the lines of blindfolds & whip cream…not fucking other guys in our bed kinda kinky. It turns us on to know that we have a sexy private thing that belongs just to us. I should add we’re not secretive about it but I’m not the type to talk about my sex life with my friends or family in the first place so it wouldn’t make sense to start now. Hell, I’d love the chance to brag to my friends about my adventures…I’d whip out photos so fast and just brag, brag, brag for days, but for now we’re keeping it just for us.
I think it’s awesome that your working things out before jumping right into this, my (unsolicited) advice here is that you include your wife. Even if it seems like it’s too early and you’re not sure if you even really want to try it…figure it out together and you’ll learn so much more about her thoughts, reservations, fantasies. We find it fun (and a turn on) to talk about different scenarios, expectations, people, situations, etc. I feel like I’ve been along for the ride with him in figuring out if this works for us as a couple. I don’t approach it as fulfilling a fantasy for him, that’s not why I do it, it’s something we do together and he just happens to have been the one to think of it first. Of course I wouldn’t do this if it didn’t turn him on and make him happy, it’s just not my only motivation.