The majority of us hotwives are busy people with full lives that we spend most of our time attending to. We’re mothers, students, professionals and wives so respecting our time and energy is a huge deal. Respecting our marriage and kink is equally important and will make the difference between success and failure in landing a hotwife to bed and enjoy. I’ve gotten a lot of pm’s about a previous post for bulls and what makes an experience a great one…here’s some more of those silly little ‘guidelines’…once again ymmv and this is all purely my opinion and from my experiences.
- No pet names unless otherwise indicated. Once again, unless we’ve met and are cool with each other don’t call me honey or sweetheart, I don’t even know you and we’re most likely not like that so don’t make it awkward when I have to be like “cool story bro” after you’ve called me sweetie for the 10th time.
- No middle of the night texts. If you know the person is a wife, mom, employed…it’s kind of rude to blow up my phone at 2 or 3 in the morning just to chat. I know there’s time zones issues and all that but if I can manage to chat with people from CA to London to Australia and not wake anyone up then you should be able to manage it too.
- Until you’ve met someone play it safe when texting and don’t assume that they’ll get all your jokes and sarcasm (unless they’re from NY, it’s our 2nd language). Be funny, be yourself but be aware that not everything translates well via text.
- No demands for pics or videos. So this one really irks me. I tend to be an open book and I’ll say when I have an upcoming date (not who it’s with or anything personal really)…do not text me or call me if you know I’m on a date. Literally makes me see red. If you’re a bull you should understand the time I’m hotwifing is between me, hubby and my partner…it’s not about you and asking for updates, pictures, videos or checking in when you’re aware that I’m with someone is beyond fucking rude. Also take into account that if you’re trying to get in touch I’ll assume it’s an emergency from my hubby and in an instant that kind of scare can ruin a date. There are very few people who we share that kind of thing with and those are the guys that I’ve known for months and are respectful and share in this kink. I don’t mind that night or the next day saying how it went but I’m not going to share anything personal out of respect for the third so don’t press the issue as if you’re entitled to it.
- Don’t just sext unless that’s what they want. I like to get to know people, it makes meeting comfortable and it opens the door for a potential FWB so if you’re interested in that then ask about our real life, interests, hobbies or whatever. Sexting is awesome and indicative of the time we’ll spend together but I like to know a little more about the guys I meet then just what they’re going to do when we meet. I like to know your dirty thoughts as much as the next girl but some of my favorite guys are the ones that I can talk to about quantum psychics, superheroes, book art, sports or whatever random thing is going on in our life. No need to be bff’s but let me know you’re a real person with varied interests that I’d like to get to know, even if it will only be brief and filled with sex.
- No cuckolding without consent and initiation on the couples part. Don’t assume anything about how people play and if you do…be careful making assumptions about cuckolding, humiliation, sissification or derogatory talk. It’s an instant turn off for so many of us hotwives and is sure to offend a husband or two along the way.
- Ask questions that are easy to answer. I don’t want to feel like I’m solving a riddle every time I have to text back. Be somewhat engaging in conversation, if every time I get a message I’m unsure if you’re asking me something, want my thoughts on it or are just letting me know something I won’t have much desire to keep up my end of the conversation. It shouldn’t feel like pulling teeth basically.
- Stop saying we’re old…or implying it. If you’re 24-28 (I’m 30) I think it’s a stretch to ask if I can fulfill your mature/older woman fantasy. Even if that’s the case unless I mention it maybe you shouldn’t. I don’t care much about my age but after a dozen people make a big deal about how much older I am I start getting weirded out.
- Being a mother is equivalent to having a job. It baffles me that anyone would ‘put down’ someone else’s life/career choices but apparently it happens. If I can’t meet at 3 in the afternoon because that’s my ‘business hours’ don’t try to guilt me into it b/c being home with my kids isn’t a ‘real’ enough job for you. Does it have to be said that it’s just in bad taste to insult a hotwife (we’re people too ya know).
- I like fulfilling fantasies but not your age or race related ones, completely a personal preference. Someone else may be thrilled to but get to know a hotwife before you start throwing out your own taboo kinks. I’m all for honesty but there’s a time and a place for bringing out your own stuff. Let’s start with seeing if we get along before you pull out your potentially offensive secret desires.
- A dick pic alone won’t get you a date, show some face. Your privacy is important, as is ours. We understand that people want to be private with their identity but I’m not going to fuck you b/c you wrote a cute message and flashed some abs. I’m attracted to faces and the whole package (pun intended) so if you’re serious about meeting let the wife know what you look like.
- Don’t use contact info that wasn’t given to you or posted publicly. Um guys, it’s really scary and borderline stalkerish if you track someone down and contact them in a way that they haven’t shared with you. If you have my Skype name then use that, don’t look me up everywhere else and message me as if it’s totally normal. In my case I’m fairly public about twitter/chaturbate/reddit but I still am weirded out when someone finds me on kik or Skype or email. Are you expecting I’ll be impressed with your persistence? I won’t, I’ll be thinking that you clearly don’t respect boundaries and you’re not the type of person I’d like to meet. If you’re texting keep it to that unless you’re asked to keep in touch in more than one way.
- Don’t be shy to ask about our rules/boundaries and the same goes for sharing yours. You guys say over and over what a privilege it is to bed a hotwife but from my pov I’m just as happy to be meeting you. I’m nervous, excited and often intimidated too so there’s no reason for the pedestal. Speak up and let me know what you want and expect, I like to make sure the person I’m with is happy too and it’s not all about me…it’s all about great sex. Be upfront about how you play and what your preferences are.
- Shave and smile. Welcome to the jungle is a great song and it comes to mind every time I see a lovely dick pic with a bush that makes me nostalgic for vintage porn. Shave it up, keep it neat…I don’t want hair up my nose when I have your cock down my throat. We ladies keep things neat and tidy for your benefit (for the most part) and I really appreciate the guys who do the same. I don’t care where you’re from or how manly you are, keep it neat, get a trim or whatever it is that will tame what’s going on.
- Smile in your pics. You’re all very handsome and even hotter when you look happy. When you look like a deranged serial killer I just can’t meet you and I doubt many other women will. Turn on a light, take off the hats and sunglasses and smile. Goofy, smirking, sly, charming I don’t care….just don’t look so sad and/or angry in your pics.
- Now for a personal one…could you please jerk off once in a blue moon with a condom on? Don’t tell me in the moment that condoms suck. I know they do, we all know they do. If you can’t cum with a condom or they’re too tight or whatever then practice with them. Practice makes perfect. If you want to fuck hotwives every monday/wednesday/friday then get used to condoms and embrace them or at the very least don’t bitch about them to me like I should feel terrible that you have to wrap it up.
- If you’re unsure of how a couple plays or where their expectations are, just ask. I don’t mind explaining things over and over if it’ll lead to a better experience because everyone is on the same page. I’m not easily offended so I can brush a lot off but for the most part us ladies have plenty of options in single guys and can easily pass and move onto the next guy. If you accidentally offend someone or cross a line you can blow your chance. I imagine that would suck, so just ask questions.
- Make sure the hotwife you’re with feels safe and comfortable the entire time. Wrote about it before but if you want us to have great sex and get along then make sure you’re doing what you can to be transparent, upfront and accommodating. Keep in mind that we’re pretty much strangers/acquaintances and we’re fed a lifetime of warnings about meeting strangers, we’re always a little fearful and extra aware. On that note, do not lock your door behind me once you welcome me inside your place. I think there are a few lifetime movies that start that way and it never ends well for the chick who’s trapped in someone’s place.
- Don’t bathe in cologne. I don’t like much at all on people since I’m allergic but the cologne bath makes it seem like you take advice from someone who was on the Jersey shore. You don’t smell good and if you spray it on your skin I’ll have to taste it and I know for a fact it always tastes horrid.
- Do not ask if there are any by the hour hotels nearby…yeah that’s happened and unless you plan on leaving some serious bank on the nightstand it’s just not a good question to ask. I don’t get offended easily but making us feel like by the hour escorts isn’t going to win you brownie points. If you want to play out an indecent proposal fantasy, awesome but make sure that’s what the lady wants b/c making her feel like a whore is going to lead to you being cancelled on.
- Don’t blast the a/c if you expect me to hang out naked.
- Don’t keep the TV volume so high that we can’t sit and talk. It makes for bad audio too when I just want to hear us fucking but instead I have to hear Will Pharrell taking a tranq to the throat and creating havoc in the background.
- Lighting is a real issue gents….kindly refrain from fluorescents or terribly unflattering lighting. the amount of times I been to guys places and there’s 4000 lights on and no curtains and white walls…great for pics and also for making me worry about my every flaw. Find a balance between flattering candlelight and interrogation room lighting and you should be good.
- Get a towel or have it nearby. If you’re going to cover me in cum then think ahead enough to have a towel close by to hand me to clean off. If it’s warm and damp, I’ll be grateful. If you get up and clean yourself up and forget that I’m lying in your bed covered in cum I’ll like you less. It’s pretty inconsiderate.
- Random texts are awesome and even better if they have pics. Y’all are hot and your hotwife is into you. Just like you may like a random pic throughout the day so do we. Keep in touch and let us know that big ol’ hard on your taking care of is b/c of us.
- Do you get really nervous? Well pretend you’re not. I’m already nervous enough and I try my hardest to fake it until I make it…so take the lead, be yourself and don’t let nerves get to you.
- If those nerves lead to performance issues, don’t stress it or beat yourself up. We just feel awkward when that happens. If you can’t get things to work no problem, if you go on a 10 minute rant about what could possibly be happening then it sucks. I’ll be going home to fuck my hubby anyway so if I don’t get laid it’s really not the end of the world. I’ll consider it a fun time having a drink and hanging out to get to know each other and we can try again another time. If you’re a lunatic about it then I’ll be initiating the slow fade to avoid any more of that nonsense.
- Following up is important. We just fucked please follow up and say thanks had a great time. If you want to or are compelled to say more than do so. You can’t be too flattering to someone after you fuck them so lay it on. We’ll get an ego boost, our hubbies will love it and you’ll get a second date.
- Compliments that are sincere go a long way. As long as you mean it we can usually tell and most women I know like a little compliment thrown their way every now and then/ I’m generous with the compliments that I mean so you can be too. No such thing as being too nice or too genuine in my book.
- If you start falling a little too much for a hotwife, let her know right away. Don’t just disappear. If you’re more comfortable not getting into it then at least make up a big project at work that’s going to take you out of the game for a while. Tell her she’s awesome you’ve had fun and best of luck. Then peace out. Don’t get one last one in, don’t interfere in someone’s marriage.
- Cancel with as much notice as possible. It goes both ways of course but if you know you can’t make it then cancel. If you get cold feet then be honest. Most couples are very understanding and would rather know ahead of time and plan accordingly then be lead on.
- Reschedule if you truly intend to meet the couple/hotwife. If something comes up then reschedule right away so they know you still intend to meet up.
- Be understanding about cancellations and try to reschedule. Doesn’t hurt to check in after. If they cancel b/c she’s sick then I’m sure they already feel bad enough, don’t lay on the guilt trip. In a day or two check in and see if they’re feeling better and want to make plans or need more time.
- Be a decent host. Offer whoever you have in your home a drink or some water. Make them feel comfortable. Let me know where we should hang out. I have the maybe bad habit of making myself right at home, it’s the only thing that gets rid of my nerves and lets me focus on you. I get that a lot of you are young and don’t host people very often so I figured it was safe to add this to the list.
- If for some reason, known or not, you’re on the receiving end of ‘the fade’ bow out gracefully. No guilt trips, no constant messages…I don’t employ the fade intentionally b/c I’d rather just say I can’t meet but even that is met with resistance. If we’re not feeling it and you’re told that you’re not going to change our minds. For the guys that get this I’m happy to recommend women to you or you to them if it’s a good fit and you just weren’t my style but if you act like a brat then you just kind of get forgotten.
TL;DR: Shave your package, smile and think ahead a bit and you’ll be rewarded with amazing sex and a hotwife of your very own.
You gentlemen who consider yourself or want to be bulls have shown me what a charming and amazing group of men you are. I’m very grateful that my wonderful husband enjoys me spending time with you. It’s become a wonderful little hobby/escape to play out our fantasies with you and I hope to keep it up. We treat each and every guy with respect and consideration and we’d like the same in return. Even though this nit-picky list is mostly in jest I have unfortunately experienced them and it sucks to meet a nice guy and have one of these things happen and want to move on.
We like repeats and we like for each encounter to be amazing for everyone involved so we try our best to make it happen. I tend to look past a lot of things and give people the benefit of the doubt and many chances but when you combine so many of these things we’re left with little choice but to say we’ll pass. Most of it just seems like common sense and common courtesy to me, be nice to people and do nice things. I may be wrong, I’m apparently an old lady at 30 as some guys have said so ‘call me ‘old fashioned’ but I think it’s nice to make the person you’re trying to fuck feel safe, desired and at ease around you…even if it’s just a fling or a ONS.